You know you have unresolved trauma from childhood. You’ve done talk therapy, and now your friend, doctor, psychiatrist, or current therapist is recommending EMDR therapy. You’ve heard about this approach, but wondering, does EMDR really help heal unresolved childhood trauma?
You know logically the trauma is over, in the past, and you’re safe now. Yet, decades later, your body still reacts as if it’s happening now.
A certain tone of voice sets you off. A particular kind of silence in a room makes your chest tighten. Someone moves too quickly, and you flinch before you even register why.
So why does it still feel like it's happening?
If you've found yourself researching EMDR therapy in the San Marcos, CA area, and wondering whether it works for something that happened this long ago, you’re in the right place. And I want to answer it honestly.
Why Unresolved Childhood Trauma Doesn't Just Fade with Time
Childhood trauma isn't only a memory of something that happened. It's something that happened while your brain, body, and nervous system were still developing. Shaping your thoughts, beliefs, and reactions. Developing instinctive defenses to help you survive in a world that doesn’t feel safe.
That's part of why simply understanding what happened, or reasoning your way through it, rarely makes the reaction stop. Your nervous system doesn't respond to logic. It responds to whether it feels safe.
I've written more about what unresolved childhood trauma is and why it lingers in another post. Click here to read more, but to summarize, when an experience is not resolved in the nervous system, your body is still protecting you from something that isn't happening anymore. And that protection, however exhausting it feels now, made sense at the time. As a result, it continues to react to your environment and respond if it, in any way, reminds your system of your experience and moves you into survival mode.
What EMDR Actually Does for Unresolved Childhood Trauma
EMDR isn't about telling the story again and again, hoping this time it'll finally feel different.
Instead, it helps your brain do something it may not have been able to do when the trauma happened, which is to process the memory to completion. So, it gets stored as something that happened, instead of something that is still happening.
Think of it like a filing cabinet. Most memories get filed away, understood, and closed. A traumatic memory from childhood often gets shoved in without ever getting properly filed, so it keeps resurfacing, pulled out by anything that resembles it. Each time, reinforcing and strengthening the trauma reaction.
If you want a fuller explanation of what EMDR is and how the process works, I go into more detail in What Exactly is EMDR Therapy? and The Real on EMDR Therapy. For now, what matters most is that EMDR therapy gives your nervous system a chance to finish something it couldn't finish then.
But it’s important to mention that, with unresolved Complex childhood trauma, EMDR alone is not sufficient.
Is It Normal to Feel Foggy, Distant, or Dissociated During EMDR?
Yes. And if this is something you've been worried about, I want you to hear that clearly before we go any further.
Dissociation is your nervous system's way of creating distance from something overwhelming. It’s a form of protection and survival. It’s not a sign that EMDR is going wrong. Depending on your history, some amount of distancing, fogginess, numbness, or feeling outside yourself during processing is common. It doesn't mean the process isn't working, but rather it is working.
Part of my role is helping you stay within a manageable range during sessions, so processing feels supported rather than overwhelming. You are never left to process alone.
Secondly, this is where additional therapy approaches alongside EMDR enhance the healing process. As your local San Marcos EMDR therapist, Somatic and Ego State Parts work are my go-to’s to address and pace these deeper, non-verbal reactions of trauma.
When seeking EMDR Therapy for complex trauma, it’s okay to ask the therapist if they combine EMDR with other approaches and to ask about their experience with dissociation.
When EMDR Doesn't Seem to Be Working (Yet)
Not your first time in therapy. Maybe you've done EMDR before, somewhere else, and it didn't create the shift you were hoping for. Or maybe you've heard it doesn't work for everyone, and you're afraid of being disappointed again.
I want to be honest with you: sometimes EMDR feels slow before it feels like anything is happening at all.
Moving slowly is moving fast in therapy. Before deeper processing can happen, your system may need to build safety, stability, and capacity first, especially if the trauma happened early or happened often. Again, an important step with unresolved Complex childhood trauma. Skipping that step doesn't speed things up. It just means the deeper work doesn't have solid ground to stand on, and the process will move more smoothly with some things in place first.
It's also true that therapist fit, pacing, and readiness matter. If EMDR didn't work the way you hoped before, that doesn't mean something is wrong. It may mean the timing, the approach, or the relationship wasn't right yet.
What the Critics Get Right and What They Miss
I'm not going to pretend EMDR is universally agreed upon, because it isn't.
Some of the criticism is fair. Researchers still debate the exact mechanism behind why the eye movements themselves help, and not every therapist trained in EMDR uses it with the same skill.
What I can tell you is that there are more than 30 randomized trials on EMDR Therapy, studied globally, and has been recommended as one of the top approaches for PTSD by The World Health Organization (WHO), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, and the American Psychological Association (APA).
There are mixed studies regarding the effectiveness of EMDR’s main mechanism, Bilateral Stimulation (BLS). The BLS mechanism can be visual but can also be given as audio or tactile. A recent study published by Cambridge University Press concluded that both visual and tactile stimulation were effective in facilitating regulation, and therefore, potentially aiding in emotional processing. In other words, helping the rational part of your brain step back in and calm your reactive brain.
It’s important to understand that criticism aimed at the technique alone often misses the bigger picture, and that is, EMDR isn't just eye movements. It's a structured way of helping your whole nervous system process what it couldn't process before. Used with care, and combined with Somatic and Ego State parts work approaches, it becomes something deeper than the debate about mechanism alone suggests.
I've had the privilege of practicing as a Certified EMDR Therapist in San Marcos, CA for over 10 years. Not only do I witness transformation, but hear from former clients, sometimes a year later, that the changes remain with them. That the peace they found is still there, still shaping how they show up in their relationships.
How to Know if EMDR Might Be a Good Next Step for You
You don't have to have all of this figured out before we start. That's part of my job, not yours.
EMDR therapy tends to be a good fit if you're ready to stop just talking about what happened and start letting your body catch up to what your mind already knows. It may not be the very first step if you're currently in crisis or your life feels too unstable to slow down and process. That's okay too. We start where you are.
If you want to know more about what it looks like to find the right EMDR therapist, I wrote about that here: 5 Questions to Ask When Looking for an EMDR Therapist.
And if you're in or near San Marcos, CA and wondering whether this is the right next step for you, I offer a free 20-minute consultation. Contact me here.
FAQ
Do you accept insurance for EMDR Therapy? Most insurance companies accept EMDR Therapy as an approach but only allow 50-minute sessions. I don’t feel this is effective or quality care when applying EMDR. I’m an out-of-network provider, so I can provide 60- or 75- minute sessions if needed. I want to make sure you’re regulated and in a positive state before leaving the session.
How much does a session of EMDR cost? EMDR therapy ranges by therapist, location, and length of session. My fee is $185 per session, and I do not charge more unless moving past 75 minutes. I’m cognizant of your needs, but that includes your time and finances also. If eligible to go out of network, I provide a Superbill for partial reimbursement from your insurance provider. It’s always good to contact your insurance provider to confirm what is or is not covered.
Do you talk during EMDR therapy? Yes. EMDR isn't a silent process. We talk before, during, and after each set of processing. I’m there to guide you, and to do that properly, I need your input on what’s arising. Sometimes, depending on what’s arising during the week, we may have a talk session instead of an EMDR session and resume the following week. We’re in this together and adapt as needed.
Do you cry during EMDR therapy? Sometimes, and that's okay. Processing can bring up emotion, and there's no "right" amount to feel or show. This is where collaborating, pacing, and building safety, stability, and capacity are important first steps in therapy.
What are the 8 phases of EMDR? EMDR follows eight standard phases: history-taking, preparation, assessment, desensitization, installation, body scan, closure, and reevaluation. If you would like more detail on what these phases are and look like, please click here for more information.
What is the success rate of EMDR therapy? Studies have shown 77% to 90% success rate for individuals who experienced a single-incident trauma. Another states 77% success rate for individuals with multiple traumas, with some no longer meeting a diagnosis of PTSD. I’ve come across several articles noting the latter, but they don't directly reference the study, and I feel it’s important to note this. I will continue my research, but can only share what coincides with my professional experience. And that is frequent reports from clients who report significant reduction in trauma symptoms, improved ease, healthier relationships, and lasting effects.
Where can I find more studies on EMDR? Here are a few links to articles mentioned, as well as additional I’ve found along the way:
1. Bilateral stimulation: differential effects in EEG and peripheral physiology; Nov 2025
2. https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/recent-research-about-emdr/